I was featured over at the Sanfransico Globe yesterday and I was browsing the comments section and came across this gem. You can view the post and read the rest of the comments here. Also, I choose not to respond, because I’ve defended myself before and repeating myself gets very tiring.
From: Angel DeSantos
Seriously? Your kids are spoiled rotten brats and that is ALL your fault. Your day is like this because you have raised your chidden this way. Pancakes in bed at 3 years old while she “watches her shows”??? You ALLOW your children to get their way by screaming and crying and guess what, they will continue to scream and cry! Why? Because they get their way! You ALLOW your child to sit on your head and eat chicken… I am sure that your 18-month-old isn’t holding a gun to that same head while sitting on it eating chicken. It is very simple, well it may not be not because you have trained them to be waited on hand and foot, but if you had parented them it would be very simple to set rules into place. What time are you letting your children go to bed that if they get up at 7:30 they are exhausted drama queens?? 7:30 AM is plenty of time to sleep if they go to bed at a reasonable hour of 8:30 or 9:00… that 10.5 hours of sleep in addition to the two naps you allow them per day, you’re children should the most well rested children on the planet. Your day should with them should begin at 7:30 or 8:00 when we all get out of bed and MAKE the bed, get DRESSED, brush our teeth and eat breakfast at the kitchen table. From 8:30 – 8:40 we should be doing the breakfast dishes together. From 8:40 to 10:30 can be time for TV, if you want your children to watch that much television, otherwise this should be time that they spend playing, with a few toys at a time, that they put away before they get out another. While they are playing (or mindlessly sitting there watching a talking yellow sponge) YOU can multi task and start some laundry while you check your email for work… it’s not like we stand over kettles of boiling water with steel washing boards any more, there is a machine that does it for you… during this time you can also slip into your bed room, take your shower and make your own bed since I am assuming that you or your wife didn’t make it when you got up at 6:00… about 10:30ish your children should be hungry again, at that age they should be eating about every 2 hours… so make a small snack, again do it together, involve them instead of waiting on them like the chef/owner of “Cafe Daddy”… at 10:45 we finish up the snack, clean up the kitchen from snack making and move on to part 2 of the day… of course there will be diaper changes involved during this time etc. From 11:00 to 1:00 play time con ensue, again a few toys at a time putting them away before you bring out another. As they are playing you can get some additional items done for work as you stated you do during this time. At 1:00 Lunch time, at the table, again something they helped you to make (this teaches them cooking skills as well, you really can turn almost any “chore” into a learning experience that involves the children and gets them to use their mind and take ownership, they can be proud of eating what they cooked themselves for lunch, and they can tell mom all about it when she gets home!) from 1:30 – 2:30 NAP TIME this ensures that they are freshly rested just before the addition of their brother comes into the mix and their tempers and anxiety are in check. 2:30 head to the park/bus stop to pick up your son. 3:15 home and all three of them are helping to make/eat and clean up after the after school snack. 3:45 to 5:00 Your son is at the kitchen table finishing his home work, you and the girls are playing the clean up game (yes! you can make a game out of it! Play house one day where the three of you are planning on throwing a dinner party for a very special guest , The Queen [who will be home from work at 6:00] so you have to clean up the house and prepare the feast for her arrival) Now, this plan for the day goes off some assumptions… you will obviously have to clean the house from top to bottom to start off. Once this is done it is far easier to maintain… so start by cleaning the house and organizing everything, go forward from there by implementing a schedule and routine into your child’s lives (they will thank you later when they have excellent time management skills and they excel at school and work because they are punctual and organized) Getting up and getting dressed focuses them for the day, allowing them to lounge around in their PJs keeps them in the lazy “I’m still in my PJ’s” mode… I have 3 children myself and I am the stay at home mom. My house is clean and organized because I implement a few easy to follow rules like the one toy at a time rule, the we all eat we all clean rule, the no dishes in the sink rule, My children know that kicking and screaming gets them absolutely nothing and even when they are in the cranky over tired diva mode, I will walk away from them and into another room if they throw a tantrum. Once they realized that a tantrum was never EVER rewarded with attention, much less what they were throwing the tantrum for, they stopped throwing them. No my life and children are not perfect, but neither do they run my home or my life. I am the adult, I make the rules. I involve my children in the running of the household because they are part of the household. They respect me, they respect their belongings by keeping their toys put away and in good condition, they respect themselves by keeping themselves clean and presentable in public with hands and faces watched, fully dressed for the day, every day. If they get messy while eating they change their clothes. It will take a lot of work on your part to change the behavior of what you have allowed your children to become into the behavior of two young ladies which you would like them to become. It will take discipline to slow them to throw their fits over and over while you walk away and not reward this behavior with attention or what they are crying for. You were able to let them “cry it out” as babies learning to sleep in their own bed at nights, you will have to do the same thing now. even when they are are shreiking at the top of their little lungs. You are the adult you have the control you can turn the “monsters” you have created into tiny human beings with manners, respect for others, respect for themselves…
