I’d like to choke them – but I can’t. Society as a whole frowns upon it nowadays. and I really don’t need the fall back from having a criminal record from choking my kids out. Bank robbery yes, choking kids no. I get so frustrated that I can’t see straight half the time and it’s over something so silly that it’s hard not to bust out in a frantic Edgar Allan Poe laugh wearing nothing women’s panties and singing ‘u can’t touch this’ by M.C Hammer. And what might you ask leads me to such great madness?
THE KIDS TAKING THE BATTERIES OUT OF REMOTES ONLY TO PUT THEM INTO OTHER REMOTES BECAUSE THE BATTERIES IN SAID REMOTE STOPPED WORKING INSTEAD OF JUST REPLACING THE BATTERIES WITH THE NEW BATTERIES WE HAVE AND THEN LEAVING THE GODDAMN BACKS OFF OF THE REMOTES SO THAT WHEN I GET A CHANCE TO ACTUALLY USE A REMOTE THAT HAS BATTERIES, THEY FALL OUT ONTO THE FLOOR!
I mean seriously kids, why? generally it’s my son grabbing the batteries from one of the TV remotes because he needs batteries for his Nintendo WII remote, but it really gets under my skin that he doesn’t at the very least ask if we have batteries. He’s even come into the living room as I’m watching TV trying to remove the batteries WHILE I”M WATCHING TV like it’s the most natural thing in the world. He actually looks shocked when I try and explain to him that it’s not acceptable practice.
My 4 year old daughter of course is watching and learning all of her big brother’s tricks, so it won’t be long before she’s trying to swindle and con me into getting my batteries, and guess who is watching and learning from her? My 2 year old. The. Cycle. never. Ends.
And just to throw salt in the wound, they refuse to put the backs back over the batteries, for whatever reason I don’t know, however my son recently informed me that it didn’t matter if the backs were on the remotes or not, so whenever I try and use the remotes I have to hold the batteries in place, use tape or risk losing them and watch them roll underneath the couch.
So check the papers, watch the news and do google searchs constantly for the term “dad chokes his kids for removing the batteries from the remote controls”, because my friends – it’s coming.
Oh man, is it coming.