Alright summer – enough is enough already; I’m done. My nerves are shot, my temper has grown short and my brain is fried. As the tremendous amount of heat and humidity beat down on me with each passing day, I find myself getting weaker and weaker and I know it’s just a matter of time before I snap. So through extreme exhaustion and dehydration I’ve deiced to pen an open letter to you that I hope you can find the time to read.
I hate you. Every single year you trap parents into cages and handcuff us to our children for 2 months without any remorse or pity. When we beg or plead with you for a break or death in some cases, you simply smile down on us and tease us with a 2 minute summer shower as you sit back and laugh while you watch re-runs of Breaking Bad on Netflix, and I’ve had it. Every single year when the kids get a nice long break and get to stay up late watching T.V and playing video games I have to re-adjust my already long schedule into a much longer schedule. Ever try getting a kid to bed early during the summer? Good luck with that. For some reason you hate us all and want to see us not only in misery by the company of our own children, but you want to pelt us down with such smoldering heat making it hard to breathe sometimes. Trying to keep calm with a cool head while dealing with wound up, sugar rushing kids, is borderline impossible as it is, but to add 100 degree smoldering heat to it is just inhumane.
And don’t get me started with the family vacations. Whoever decided that vacations should be taken in the summer is a mirror image of Lucifer himself and if you’ve ever had the misfortune to travel during the summer months with small children, you can relate. Summer vacations suck. The kids are grumpy from the heat, the days are long, and half the time it’s too hot to even go outside during the day so you’re stuck inside a rented hotel room or condo with the kids. Yes, sign me up for that torture please.
Why can’t “summer break” be taken in the fall during the months of September and October? BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE TOO MUCH SENSE THAT’S WHY! You’d rather see us go crazy, as you sit back and laugh with a cold bottle of your favorite beer in one hand while taking videos of us with your cell phone camera in the other.
Until you start showing a bit more compassion, Fall is my new favorite season.