Your Parenting Fails

August 18
17:26 2014

Recently I asked on my facebook page for those of you with parenting fail stories to send them in and these are the ones I recieved. If you have anything to send in, pictures, stories, etc, please drop me an email here.

1. It was a very comfortable night my fiancé and I were running back and forth from living room, kitchen, and bedroom cleaning up after a late dinner, a friend of ours had just brought us coffees, My fiancé went into our bedroom to change and I had cracked open the lid on my Timmies and took a much appreciated sip…

My daughter (3) was sitting in the living room in her little lazy boy watching Frozen (wait.. what?) so I felt it was safe to leave her while I disappeared to take care of business. We were all on the same floor, all doors were open!

I was enjoying my moment of peace and privacy when it got quiet.. too quiet.. All parents know THAT sound. I ran out of the bathroom, through the kitchen to the living room and my daughter wasn’t there, I look up and the front door(walkout basement that leads into our fenced backyard) is wide open..

I immediately started panicking and ran out back, I can hardly describe the feeling, helplessness, worry, terror, worst nightmare. I was so scared. Worst case scenarios were flashing through my mind.

And then I saw her, in her kiddie pool! She had opened the door, jumped into her pool, came back inside (there were tiny footprints leading back inside) where she grabbed her favourite toys and was lounging in her pool without a care in the world saying “come mamma!” while I had just had a heart attack and I’m sure a few mini strokes.

2. Night before payday… broke as hell.

So I shook down my kid’s piggy bank to buy a six pack of Natural Lite.

Replaced it with a 20 dollar bill the next day. :)

3. So when my children were six, four and two 1/2 I worked overnights. My husband worked days. Yay for no daycare! Right? So obviously I was sorta tired during the week and I had tried everything I could think of to enjoy a nice nap while my youngest were napping. I mean EVERYTHING! Movie time? Fail. Play pen? Fail. Baby gate? Fail. As soon as I touched my spinning head to a pillow they were thundering past me like a heard of elephants, thoroughly ending my day dream of…well, day dreaming. One day, about six weeks of POA style sleep deprivation later, I concocted an ingenious idea. I removed every toy, shoe, and article of clothing from their room, put the two little dem….er…sweethearts is their beds and curled up on their floor IN FRONT OF THEIR DOOR! Brilliant, right? Evidently lack of sleep had taken away simple knowledge of the workings of a door. Er, yeah, it opened out. Also, after NO sleep, once closed, my eyes were like fort Knox. Not opening for less than a matter of national crisis. So my wonderful munchkins decided about an hour later to wake mommy with a pie. Made from sugar and tartar sauce and jelly…..and that was nothing compared to the laundry soap/shampoo concoction IN the sofa. Yup. Fun times.

4. I tend to be a very hands on parent. I’m paranoid about my kids. call it anxiety, whatever I was never like this before kids!
So we have five kids. Three were in school at the time. I got to the pick up area, the two oldest kids climbed in the truck and I took off. I got about two blocks away and realized my preschooler was still at school! I hurried back and there he was, in the pick up loop with his teacher, waiting for me to come back! He asked me why I drove off. How do you tell a four year old you forgot to pick him up?
My mom card was revoked that day! Thankfully the teachers in the pick up line said it happens more than you think with multiple siblings. I hope she didn’t tell me that to make me feel better!

5. I sent my daughter to school in her pajamas one day in December. I thought it was Pajama day at school. Fail! It was the week before hand, and I had the dates wrong. To mark my monumental fail, it was picture day. My daughter had her pictures taken in her pajamas!

6. I have many parenting fails. The one that comes to mind was when I was in the navy. I was leaving to drop my daughter off to the babysitter, then go to work. I got down to the corner of my street before realizing I left her at home…by herself. This is also the same kid I accidentally locked myself outside a running car, she was chilling in the backseat listening to Elmopalooza. Glad to say said kid is a well rounded, responsible 16 year old today. :) Thanks for your time!

About Author



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Mike, AKA Daddy Fishkins, is the original bipolar stay at home rockstar dad who is lucky enough to have the 3 most wonderful kids and the most beautiful wife to ever walk planet earth.

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